Confessions of a Grammar Nazi

It is no secret that I am a Grammar Nazi. In an era of text messages and social media the ability to write well has gone to the wayside. I never succumbed to the “u” instead of “you” or “r” instead of “are.” Also, as a student I had to diagram sentences for years and years and years. I learned to enjoy the structure and design of the English (or American English) language. Prepositional Phrases are fun! I know, I’m playing fast and loose with the word “fun.”

Very early this week someone pointed out that I am not perfect. I shall pause for a moment to let the collective gasps subside. I was having an exceptionally dreadful day and decided to unplug from life for a bit by playing on Facebook. (Let me pause again for a helpful hint: When you are in the middle of a four-hour crying jag, stay off social media. It won’t help your mood.) Anyway, I commented on what I thought was a friend’s post on the ridiculous grammar. Most of my friends understand my sarcasm and graciously put up with me. The problem was that this was not my friend’s post on his page but one in a public forum AND my phone autocorrected one of my word choices. OH. DEAR. LORD. I got called everything from stupid to someone who thinks I’m better than everyone else. For the love, I couldn’t even deal. (Again, don’t de-stress on FB.)

Herein lies the confession…I am, in fact, not perfect. I am a terrible speller. Terrible! I taught myself to spell using the corrections suggested by spell check. I spelled “maybe” like “mabey” for a large chunk of my life and the word “definitely” was my arch nemesis. I have a dictionary app on the home screen of my phone and I reference it multiple times a day. I am sure that there are mistakes in this blog and when one of my friends points them out I will correct them. The edit function on FB posts is my favorite thing. I don’t even care if you can see the history, I care that I can make it right.

The thing is, we all make mistakes. English is a crazy language. It’s got all kinds of rules, synonyms, homonyms (homophones, whatever the heck they are called now), and is ever changing. “Fishes” even became acceptable plural for “fish.” O.o 

It’s not easy but it is important. Take for instance a post that I came across online today. A young man was commenting on his inability to find a job. It didn’t sound like this:

“I am having quite a challenging time locating a job in the area. I have filled out multiple applications and have not yet been successful. Is there anyone who might have a lead on a job or would be willing to share tips with me regarding your success?”

Rather, it sounded more like this:

“what is wrong with this town I cant find a job nowhere noone will call me back this town sux”

Uh, I can probably identify part of the problem…

I once heard someone say that to be successful in life you needed to be able to speak well and write well. It’s the truth! Yeah, (<<that’s the Midwesterner in me), it isn’t always easy, and we do things incorrectly, but it is important to at least try. A friend pointed out yesterday morning that I said, “I’m good,” instead of, “I am well.” Oh my gosh, I do! Sometimes I end a sentence with a preposition or use “them” as singular, but I try to fix those things. Impressions are important, and whether or not I  inherited the Davies’ mutated spelling gene, I’m going to keep trying to be better. We all should.

Handy guide in case you don’t want to read the whole thing:

1.     I am bad at spelling

2.     Dictionaries are awesome

3.     At least try to present yourself well

4.     Stay off social media if you’re having a sad day.