Anyone who knows me knows that I am a grammar guru. Misuse of you're/your, they're/there/their, to/two/too, and spelling tomorrow with an "A," all are enough to make me go batty. I don't always get it right. I have my share of grammatical errors and misspoken moments, but I try my best to speak and write correctly. I feel that if you speak well and write well most people will think you're smarter than you actually are. I had no idea how this had trickled down to my children until recently.
The other day Elaina was telling me a story. This is not unusual. Elaina tells me lots of stories. She is actually about as good with her useless facts as is her Uncle T....but I digress. Anyway, she said to me, "I paid attention the whole time he was speaking." SPEAKING. Most kids I know would have said, "I paid attention the whole time he was talking." Actually, most adults I know would have used "talking" instead of "speaking." I was slightly impressed at my 5 year old's command of the English language. She is also my mini guru. Since she started Kindergarten she has been correcting her sisters' verb tenses on a regular basis. Fun for her, not so much for the younger two girls.
Then, two weeks ago, during the first bout of vomiting to invade my home, Evelyn says, "Mommy, my tummy doesn't feel so well." WELL. Again, most people would have said, "My tummy doesn't feel so good." Heck, I probably would have said "good" too! At this point, I am convinced that my children are destined to become some great orators, or literary masters, or something equally impressive. But alas, my delusions of grandeur were cut short.
On Thursday I took Jillian to the Doctor. She was having snot issues and we needed some modern medicine. Of course she becomes instantly shy when the Doc enters the room, refusing to utter a single word until she says this sentence, " I be frowwin' up!" Be. BE!!! She not only feels the need to tell the Doc that she had the stomach flu a week before, but she uses the word "be." And then it hits me. I have a child who speaks Ebonics. Imagine if you will a teeny little girl who sounds like she's been a 3 pack a day smoker for 40 years. That's my Jilly. On top of that she has yet to "get" the art of speaking the complicated English language. At that moment in the doctor's office, all of her special "Jilly" phrases run through my head. (Now you must imagine her gravely voice when reading these.) Like when she says, "Youuu don't teeeell me," or "Where my cuuuuup," or "Hey, you don't say dat." Then there is the ever popular, "We be going upstairs." And of course, my personal favorite, "Where my pishin' hoe?" The pishin' hoe obviously is her fishing pole...yeah, obviously...
Well, so we may not win the "Family masters of the English language" award. (not that it exists) but I have to say, I love Jillybonics just as much as I love the fact that my other two use the words "speak" and "well." And someday soon enough I will have to teach Jillian the proper way to say fishing pole. For now, however, it's hysterically funny when she asks people about their pishin' hoes :).
Finally, my dear friends, please remember..."Alot" is not a word, you can't use "have" and "of" interchangeably , and when you say, "Your dumb," what you're really saying is, "I'm dumb."
