When I first became a mother I had
this idyllic idea of what Mother’s Day would look like. I would be treated to
breakfast in bed, not have to go anywhere or do anything all day long. I
quickly learned that that wasn‘t realistic. I got up, got ready for church, got
the baby ready, went to church, went to my parent’s house, went to Matt’s
parent’s house and then came home with a cranky baby that was way
overstimulated for the day. After a few years a pattern developed and I learned
to hate Mother’s Day. Then I realized a year or so ago that the problem wasn’t
the day, it was my expectations of the day. In essence, Mother’s Day with small
children is a trap. It is ripe for disappointment. No matter how many sweet and
wonderful things your husband or children do for you there is still the “ideal”
that won’t be met. However, I have found that by simply modifying one’s
expectations, Mother’s Day can be enjoyable.
First, you will not get extra sleep! There is a great possibility that you
will get less sleep. I keep seeing these blogs going around Facebook that say
that all a mom really wants for Mother’s Day is to sleep. This is true. BUT,
listen to me…you will not get a nap. If you do, you’ve had a bonus but don’t
expect it. Most likely you will be navigating families’ houses with children
who haven’t napped. The children won’t magically decide to sleep all night
Saturday night, or Sunday night for that matter. When you try to lay on the
couch the baby will toddle up and poke you.
Next, you will get tons of little
pieces of paper declaring your children’s love for you. They will bring them
home from school and Sunday school. They will sit at the dining room table and
design them for you. You will smile at their handwriting, cry at their
thoughtfulness, and then wonder where the heck you will store all of this –
should you keep it, ALL of it, or can you throw some of it away? Will it make
you a bad mother if you toss it? How long is long enough to have it on the
fridge? Don’t worry! You aren’t a bad mom if in the middle of next week you are
digging through the trash to stuff a card far enough down that your child won’t
find it again.
Diapers will still explode, the baby
will spit up all over your new outfit, fights will have to be settled, and dads
will still fall asleep on the couch while you clean up the contents of the
diaper bag which have been thrown around for the toddler’s enjoyment. (This
also holds true on your birthday; that isn’t a magic day either.) It took me a
really long time to figure out that these things don’t have anything to do with
Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a chance for your kids to tell you how much they
love you but isn’t that every day? For me, Mother’s Day happens when my baby
throws his chubby arms around my neck and snuggles his head on my shoulder. It
happens at the end of the night when all is quiet and I remember that funny
things that Jilly said or when my six year old kisses my face and says, “I
really love you, Mommy!” It’s when Elaina offers to do the dishes or the simple
fact that my husband and kids have been plotting for a week with a secret craft
made just for me.
Moms (I’m talking to myself too),
you are loved and as nice as it might be extra sleep doesn’t prove that.
Tomorrow on Mother’s Day, you will still be at work, but take time to notice
those moments that make it all worthwhile. Don’t focus on what you think should
happen or what you might be missing out on, but notice each snuggle and kiss;
each act of obedience and act of service. May each and every one of you have a
wonderful day knowing you have the best job in the whole world!
