Mother’s Day is a Trap

           When I first became a mother I had this idyllic idea of what Mother’s Day would look like. I would be treated to breakfast in bed, not have to go anywhere or do anything all day long. I quickly learned that that wasn‘t realistic. I got up, got ready for church, got the baby ready, went to church, went to my parent’s house, went to Matt’s parent’s house and then came home with a cranky baby that was way overstimulated for the day. After a few years a pattern developed and I learned to hate Mother’s Day. Then I realized a year or so ago that the problem wasn’t the day, it was my expectations of the day. In essence, Mother’s Day with small children is a trap. It is ripe for disappointment. No matter how many sweet and wonderful things your husband or children do for you there is still the “ideal” that won’t be met. However, I have found that by simply modifying one’s expectations, Mother’s Day can be enjoyable.

            First, you will not get extra sleep! There is a great possibility that you will get less sleep. I keep seeing these blogs going around Facebook that say that all a mom really wants for Mother’s Day is to sleep. This is true. BUT, listen to me…you will not get a nap. If you do, you’ve had a bonus but don’t expect it. Most likely you will be navigating families’ houses with children who haven’t napped. The children won’t magically decide to sleep all night Saturday night, or Sunday night for that matter. When you try to lay on the couch the baby will toddle up and poke you.

            Next, you will get tons of little pieces of paper declaring your children’s love for you. They will bring them home from school and Sunday school. They will sit at the dining room table and design them for you. You will smile at their handwriting, cry at their thoughtfulness, and then wonder where the heck you will store all of this – should you keep it, ALL of it, or can you throw some of it away? Will it make you a bad mother if you toss it? How long is long enough to have it on the fridge? Don’t worry! You aren’t a bad mom if in the middle of next week you are digging through the trash to stuff a card far enough down that your child won’t find it again.

            You will still have to eat cold food. Again, it’s a day set aside most likely by Hallmark. This day doesn’t have super powers. Food will still have to be cut, each plate dished out, and cups of spilled juice to clean up. You will finally sit down to eat and a butt will need to be wiped. You will then have forgotten to get a kid their drink and then another one will need seconds. You may get to sit down to eat – hurray for you!

            Diapers will still explode, the baby will spit up all over your new outfit, fights will have to be settled, and dads will still fall asleep on the couch while you clean up the contents of the diaper bag which have been thrown around for the toddler’s enjoyment. (This also holds true on your birthday; that isn’t a magic day either.) It took me a really long time to figure out that these things don’t have anything to do with Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a chance for your kids to tell you how much they love you but isn’t that every day? For me, Mother’s Day happens when my baby throws his chubby arms around my neck and snuggles his head on my shoulder. It happens at the end of the night when all is quiet and I remember that funny things that Jilly said or when my six year old kisses my face and says, “I really love you, Mommy!” It’s when Elaina offers to do the dishes or the simple fact that my husband and kids have been plotting for a week with a secret craft made just for me.

            Moms (I’m talking to myself too), you are loved and as nice as it might be extra sleep doesn’t prove that. Tomorrow on Mother’s Day, you will still be at work, but take time to notice those moments that make it all worthwhile. Don’t focus on what you think should happen or what you might be missing out on, but notice each snuggle and kiss; each act of obedience and act of service. May each and every one of you have a wonderful day knowing you have the best job in the whole world!