I woke up
this morning with an overwhelming sense of dread and monotony. This is odd for
me because, well, I love monotony. I don’t like change and I’m pretty content
with one day being like the last. But something felt different today. I got up
with the alarm, made lunches, got the girls ready for school, same as last
Monday, and the same as tomorrow. It all seemed rather futile. I make a lunch
today just to make an identical one tomorrow. I washed and dried a load of
clothes only to find that a chapstick somehow got in with the load and it all
has to be rewashed in hopes that it can be removed. I vacuumed the house, just
like I do every Monday only to have to redo it when Playdoh littered the floor.
Then I did it again when the baby dumped a whole bag of chips all over the
kitchen. Flash forward a few hours to when I returned from my dance class and
there is biscuit from dinner all over every floor of my house. So, tomorrow
morning, I’ll be vacuuming again. Then there’s dinner. I made dinner as I
usually do, aaaand, nobody liked it as they normally do. So, then I had to make
another dinner for them all to eat. (Now, before you get all I-know-how-to-parent-better-than-you
on me, they’re all on antibiotics and had to eat something before their nightly
dose and I just didn’t want to force food down everyone’s throat.)
Anyway, you
get the picture. Redo, redo, redo. Everything seems pointless. I do it just to
have to do it again. It’s more than a little frustrating. But as I was mentally
rehashing my day I realized that it’s really not pointless. I’ve got five sets
of little eyes watching me. By redoing I’m teaching them that when things fall
apart you pick yourself back up and keep trying. I’m teaching them that when
you make a mess you pick it up, as tedious as it might be to force preschoolers
to pick up Playdoh and chip crumbs. I’m teaching them by my reaction (Oh dear
Jesus, help me with that one) what attitude to have when things don’t go the
way you want them to.
I guess in
retrospect my day wasn’t as futile as I thought; frustrating, yes, but not
futile. So, I’m going to go to bed and get up tomorrow where there are new
mercies and grace, and hopefully I’ll be back to my old self and look forward
to the monotony.
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